Are you a podcast listener? Every now and then I get sucked into a podcast, I start asking for recommendations and I get super excited about them and then... I don’t listen to any for like 6 months. That’s pretty much the kind of podcast listener that I am.
The one podcast that I listen to on a semi-regular basis is SuperMamas. The first time I listened to them, I was like: Oh my gosh. These are my people. They sound like me, they talk like me, we are the same age, we’re all Mamas, and they make me feel normal. Their most recent episode, Episode 193 felt more real than any other before. The story that Bricia shares on this episode compelled me to not only share the episode with all of you, but to once again share my own story.
If you’re a follower, reader or friend of mine, then you know the story of my son Gabriel, if you don’t you can read it here.
My first born, my only son, my angel baby. 4 days after my one year wedding anniversary, I gave birth to a beautiful boy who was born with an inoperable heart defect. We had to say goodbye to my beautiful boy, just 13 hours after he was born. This was 12 years ago, but I think about him every day. I am fortunate enough to have my two daughters here on earth with me to keep me going, but losing my son, changed the person that I am today.
Hours after I said goodbye to my son, I laid there in the hospital bed, broken and hurt in every way possible, questioning why God, our God, would do this to us. I looked to my husband and asked him, why? He didn’t have an answer of course, and I will never know His reasons. Instead of turning away from my faith like so many so easily do, I turned to my faith to get me through. One day, after many prayers, I received direction. As I tried to heal, I felt that God wanted me to put my story into words and share my strength in my faith for anyone who needed to hear it.
Over the years, many women have reached out to me. Family members going through a loss, friends having difficulty getting pregnant, family members struggling with a difficult pregnancy and strangers around the country who have gone through similar situations. I think this was my way of healing and in a way, the Lord showing me what I am capable of.
So, as I listened to Bricia share her story of her miscarriage and how her faith and family is helping her get through the dark time, I felt that this was another one of those times where I had to share her story, and mine as well.
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